I N T . V A N O R T O N O F F I C E S - D A Y

SCHUYLER (on cellphone)
I've got buyers for the BG paper mill,
goose the lawyers, final papers in
three weeks... sure it's sad, but an
old dog loses its teeth and pisses
itself, you put it to sleep...

As Schuyler walks, he's greeted by passing underlings, whom he
ignores. He shuts off the phone, Maria hands him a couple of
items, follows him into his office.

MARIA
Carol from the museum called.
She's sending architect's sketches
of the wing...

12. I N T . S C H U Y L E R ' S O F F I C E - D A Y

The office is large, tasteful, reeks of old money. A window
overlooks the San Francisco skyline and the Bay.

MARIA
That Business Week reporter called again--

SCHUYLER
Tell him to fuck himself. Nicely.

MARIA
(awkwardly)
--and, um, somebody who identified
himself as, um, P.P. Willy.

SCHUYLER FREEZES at this, stares at her.

MARIA
Sorry, I figured it was a crank, but
he swore you'd know who he was. He
wanted to meet you for lunch, I told
him you had appointments all--

SCHUYLER
Cancel. Cancel the whole afternoon.

MARIA
But you--

SCHUYLER
Do it. Did he leave a number?

MARIA
No. He just said he'd be at Leo's
in the Haight. At noon.

Maria hands him a slip of paper, lingers, awaiting explanation...

SCHUYLER
That's all, Maria.

She heads out quickly. Schuyler stares at the slip, then turns to
look out the window, lost in thought.

CUT TO:

13. I N T . L E O ' S - D A Y

A working class bar, an ALCOHOLIC or two, pinball machines.
SCHUYLER sits a table near a window, checking his watch, it's not
his kind of place. A WAITRESS arrives in a too-small uniform--
young, multiple earrings, CHRISTINE according to her name tag.

CHRISTINE
Can I take your order?

SCHUYLER
I haven't seen the menu.

CHRISTINE
Oh, right. Here, see ya.

She hands him a menu and starts off. Schuyler calls after her.

SCHUYLER
An iced tea, please--

She waves a hand, "yeah, right," without looking back. Schuyler
sighs and opens the menu. Suddenly, someone backhands the side of
his skull, he assumes a defensive posture. Schuyler sees his
LAUGHING brother: DAVID VAN ORTON.

DAVID
Yo, Sky. Happy birthday.

SCHUYLER
(rubs his head, annoyed)
Thanks, "Pee-pee." I never get
tired of that.

DAVID slides into the seat opposite him. He's in his early 30's,
good-looking but unkempt, wears bright, funky clothes, an earring
and a perpetual grin. There's an intense, edgy quality to him
which Schuyler has some trouble readjusting to.

SCHUYLER
Well... long time.

DAVID
Yeah, since Mom died-- what, five
years? So how you been?

SCHUYLER
Business as usual...

DAVID
How's Elizabeth? Any kids?

SCHUYLER
A little girl.

DAVID
Congrat--

SCHUYLER
It's not mine, she married a
pediatrician in Sausalito.

DAVID
You're divorced...
(off Schuyler's nod)
Too bad, she was actually interesting.

SCHUYLER
She stopped drinking, I guess
getting rid of me was the 13th step.

DAVID
So you're all alone in the House of Pain.

SCHUYLER
I redecorated. Where have you been?

DAVID
All over. Nowhere in particular.
Didn't your fucking gumshoes keep
you informed of my every movement?

SCHUYLER
I called them off two years ago,
David. You'd kicked the heroin, you'd
left the ashram, you were windsurfing
somewhere in Central America...

DAVID
It's gorgeous down there... you
should go sometime.

SCHUYLER
Look, are you in trouble, is there
anything you need? You can't have
gone through the trust fund...

DAVID
(looks at him, hurt)
That's not why I'm here, Sky, I
just wanted to see you... I even
brought a gift, for a change.

SCHUYLER
You didn't bake me a cake, did you?

DAVID
You can't still be mad about the
hash brownies...

Schuyler's unamused by the memory. David grins and pulls a small
envelope out of his pocket, tosses it on the table in front of him.

DAVID
Happy birthday, bro.

SCHUYLER
What is this.

DAVID
It's a bomb. Open it!

Schuyler shrugs, opens the envelope and shakes out--

A BUSINESS CARD in BLUE and ORANGE: "CONSUMER RECREATION SERVICES."
The C, R and S are HIGHLIGHTED, a PHONE NUMBER at the bottom.

SCHUYLER picks up the card, fingers it.

SCHUYLER
Consumer Recreation Services. OK...

DAVID
I can't tell you very much about it,
that'd ruin the surprise. Just
promise me you'll give 'em a call.

SCHUYLER
I don't get it.

DAVID
Just call 'em. OK look, it's simple,
really. They entertain you.

SCHUYLER
Is this an escort service?

DAVID
No, it's nothing like that.
They're a business, they're for
real... They guarantee just one
thing-- you won't be bored.

Schuyler gives him a bored, blank look. David throws up his hands.

DAVID
They make your life fun.

SCHUYLER
Fun.

DAVID
You've heard of it.

Christine the waitress has shown up with Schuyler's iced tea. She
puts it down hastily, spilling some across the table. Schuyler
shies away, grabbing a napkin and blotting it up before it can drip into his lap. Cracking gum:

CHRISTINE
Sorry.

She moves off as Schuyler tries to order, raising a finger--

SCHUYLER
Just a cheesebur... how'd you find
this place?

DAVID
Old connection used to meet me
here. So you gonna call 'em?

SCHUYLER
(a sigh, carefully)
You know, David, this is sweet, but
it's an awfully busy time, I'm in the
midst of a delicate liquidation--

DAVID
(mimicking him bitterly)
"A delicate liquidation," God, you
would do this...

SCHUYLER
David--

DAVID
We can't get together once without
you making me feel like shit. That's
important to you, isn't it?

SCHUYLER
What are you talking about?

DAVID
Forget about it, don't bother.

David slumps in his seat, won't meet Schuyler's eyes.

SCHUYLER
Are you still on medication...?

David glares at him. With the impeccable timing of all waitresses,
CHRISTINE appears, chipper.

CHRISTINE
You guys know what you want?

DAVID
Go away.

She curls her lip and departs before Schuyler can open his mouth.
He sighs, resigned to the idea of not eating. Calmly:

DAVID
I just thought you'd like it. I did,
it was a blast, best thing that ever
happened to me. And for your
information, I'm not on anything
anymore, I'm not even seeing a
shrink, I'm in a better place than
I've ever been, I'm even happy-- but
that's something else I wouldn't be
able to explain to you.

SCHUYLER
OK, OK, I'll give them a call...

DAVID
Whatever.

SCHUYLER
Look, take a pill. Just be normal
for thirty seconds and tell me what
this is. I hate surprises.

DAVID
I know.

David WINKS, puts a finger to his lips-- not another word.

ashram - pustelnia
assume - przypuszczać, zakładać
awkwardly- z zakłopotaniem, niezdarnie
blot - osuszać, wycierać
bro- brother
chipper- tryskający energią
crank- pomylony
defensive - defensywny
drip- kapać
edgy - nerwowy, roztrzęsiony
finger - badać coś palcami, dotykać, macać
get rid of - pozbywać się
goose- to squeeze somebody’s bottom
gorgeous - wspaniały, atrakcyjny
grin- szeroki uśmiech
gumshoe- tu: detektyw (pot.)
hastily- pospiesznie
impeccable - nieskazitelny
in the midst of - w trakcie
lap- kolana
linger- przedłużać swój pobyt gdzieś; zwlekać z wyjściem
overlook- (o oknie) wychodzić na, mieć widok na
paper mill- papiernia
perpetual- niezmienny, ciągły
posture - poza, pozycja
readjust- dostosować się, dostroić; ponownie się dostosować
redecorate- remontować, odnawiać
reeks of - przesiąknięty, cuchnący
shrink- tu: psychiatra, psychoanalityk
shrug- wzruszać ramionami
shy away- unikać, znikać
slide into- wślizgiwać się
spill - rozlewać
start off - wychodzić, odchodzić
tag- etykietka
toss- rzucać
unamused- niezadowolony
underling - podwładny
unkempt- zaniedbany, niechlujny, niedbały


TEST

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